Friendship

I have always thought of friendship as a two way street. A "I scratch your back you scratch mine" sort of thing. I am also the type of person who will drop whatever it is that I am doing to help someone when they need me. The other day, a "friend" (I add the air quotes because I don't believe we are friends anymore, but I'll get to that later) was at work and needed some food. I was sitting in my argumentation class but I had told her that when I was done with class (at 11:30am) I would gladly bring her food. So she sent me some money and to Panera I went when class finished. I got her what she wanted and there were thanks exchanged. I guess I should mention that she did offer to pay for me if I wanted anything since I was getting her food but I declined because I had food at home. Anyway, so that was that for the day. Not something I needed to do but wanted to do because I figured that she would do the same if I asked.
So, today we got into a fight (over stuff that is a little to personal to mention) and it made me realize that maybe she didn't consider me as her best friend as I considered her mine. She is getting married, and before she was engaged I told her that whenever I got married she would be my maid of honor because, let's be honest here, I have no friends. None. I have people I work with, but she is the only one that I hang out with besides my boyfriend. But her response to me was, don't get your hopes up because you will not be in my wedding, I have sisters. Am I crazy to be mad that she said that? I mean who says that to someone. But am I more crazy to be mad that she actually didn't ask me to be in her wedding? I mean she tells me I'm her best friend but to me, it seems like I am not good enough for her to be my friend. I'm over it now but it still hurts, because I as I have said before, I would do anything for friendship. But now I have lost hers. Or maybe I never had it in the first place.
I tell her everything. I would do anything for her really because that is what I believe friendship is about. But she does not like my boyfriend, and she has made that known. My boyfriend has made mistakes in our relationship in the past so she has a reason to not like him, but shes trying to force me out of the relationship. She is trying to put her life into mine and run it her way. I suffer from depression and have always felt left out in anything that I do. So for her to put her life into mine, it makes me feel like I can't do anything. Now don't get me wrong, shes a great friend but sometimes I question why she has to put me down. Part of me believes that I will never know what real friendship is. I always tell people I'm better off alone but the truth is I hate it. But people don't want to be my friend, so I fake who I am around them until I can get home. So yeah, I long for friendship, but there is evidence in my life to suggest that I will never get that. Only time will tell I guess