A Dose of My Reality

Today was not a good day. It started off okay (besides the snow storm), with me waking up with my boyfriend and having breakfast. We played with our little man Odie and then we spent a couple hours cleaning, because believe me this place needed to be clean. But then when it was time to take a little break we decided to play monopoly on the xbox. Now normally when we play we play against the computers and try to help each other out so that eventually its just to two of us at the end. And that is exactly what I was doing with him, until I had the opportunity to get the few properties I needed. Needless to say that I had houses and he didn't and he lost, then threw a fit because he lost. I can feel myself pulling away from him. I don't look at him the same. I feel alone when I am around him and his mood swings are just too much to handle. I tell myself that I love him and that everything will be okay because on good days we have the most fun. But I've already lost my best frie

Well, a few weeks ago I applied for an internship in an HR department. I thought everything went well and I really thought that I was going to get it, but they decided to cancel that particular HR internship program in general. So I need an internship in order to graduate, and being on thin water with graduation as is, I have been frantically looking for one, so I applied for a different HR internship at the same place, and they called me today!! We had a fifteen minute interview over the phone and in an email I received that they wanted to start this program on the 20th of this month. I was getting a little worried that they weren't going to call, but when she was talking to me today, she told me that they needed to get someone in the door and they needed to do it quick so I am seriously hoping after the interview I have set up on Monday I will be offered a spot with them. My goal is to be hired after the completion of the internship. And in other news, I live in the Midwest, whi

So, I'm a ferret mom. My little Odie just celebrated is first birthday three days ago. He sleeps like a weirdo and doesn't cuddle unless you pick him up while he is sleeping but he is the absolute best. The best thing about having him around is that he loves to play. We like to play with him in our bedroom and we tend to keep him on the bed. But he learned to jump off of it a long time ago. He loves to play in bags, and yes we watch him. When he's really excited he makes this cute little sound almost like the wind was knocked out of him but that doesn't slow him down. When I have taken him back to my parents place in the past, my mom has an indoor dog (a chihuahua with all bark and no bite) that he absolutely loves to play with. He despises baths but hey, he needs them. Also, because I'm sure some of you may be thinking, eww ferrets are gross and they smell, but Odie is neutered and had his glands removed before I ever bought him so he actually only smells just a li

Who am I? I find myself asking that question a lot lately. Am I happy, sad, loved, alone, tall, short, fat, or skinny. I look in the mirror and sometimes I don't recognize who I am. When I was a little girl, I watch a lot of Disney, and I always fantasized that when I grew up that I would meet my knight in shinning armor and fall madly in love and live happily ever after. Yet here I am, 22 years old, over $20,000 in student loans, almost $10,000 in medical bills that keep piling up, and I'm barely making it to graduation, with a degree in Business and I have no clue where I want to go with my life. I suffer from depression, I have for many many years. I come from a broken home with three sisters from different dads. I moved around a lot as a child due to my mothers boyfriends. I believe that is where I lost myself. I used to be an insanely envious child. I wanted what everyone else had. New clothes, new shoes, the latest technology, anything that anyone around me had I wanted.

I have been with my current boyfriend for about 14 months now, and I am head over heels in love with him. We had met on tinder (a place in which I swore I would never join, but when you're lonely, you tend to do desperate things), and it was not love at first sight. But none the less, we spent the entire weekend together, and we have been inseparable ever since. But as with every relationship, there are struggles. We hit a rough patch a few months into our relationship and to be honest, I was devastated. I went through his phone and found him messaging other women and a profile on a dating site. I left in a rage and drove around wondering where it was that I could have went wrong. You know, I've only told one other person about the things that he's done, and now her and I are not speaking. Now, mind you, I've only ever had two relationships in my life before this one that lasted longer than a year (and not by much because once the year mark hit, things fell apart both

I have always thought of friendship as a two way street. A "I scratch your back you scratch mine" sort of thing. I am also the type of person who will drop whatever it is that I am doing to help someone when they need me. The other day, a "friend" (I add the air quotes because I don't believe we are friends anymore, but I'll get to that later) was at work and needed some food. I was sitting in my argumentation class but I had told her that when I was done with class (at 11:30am) I would gladly bring her food. So she sent me some money and to Panera I went when class finished. I got her what she wanted and there were thanks exchanged. I guess I should mention that she did offer to pay for me if I wanted anything since I was getting her food but I declined because I had food at home. Anyway, so that was that for the day. Not something I needed to do but wanted to do because I figured that she would do the same if I asked. So, today we got into a fight (over s